The Rocky & Eddie Picture Show
by Anne Oying
Summary: Remember how Rocky and Eddie share a brain... basically RHPS from Eddie's POV


**Disclaimer: Sadly, no.**

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><p><em>Whatever happened to Saturday Night?<em>

Having half his brain removed and being shoved in a freezer had given Eddie a lot to ponder.

He missed a lot. Riding his motorcycle, playing/lightening to music, sex and… well, just being warm. If he could move he'd shiver.

Strangely, having half a brain hadn't affected him much. His mind was as sharp as ever (not very) and he still had all his memories.

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><p>He remembered his mother telling him that from the day he was born, he was trouble, that he was the thorn in her side. She was always trying to change him, in vain, he might add, but ultimately it only brought her nothing but shame. He left home the day she died.<p>

From the day he left home all he wanted was rock and roll, a girlfriend and a motorbike.

So he joined a band (he was a pretty damn good singer) and learned how to play the saxophone. He got a job as a pizza delivery boy to save up for a hog. A friend let him borrow his for deliveries but it just wasn't the same. Eventually he saved up enough money for his dream bike. Still no girlfriend though, but hey, two out of three ain't bad, and he always had porn.

Then one stormy night he had to go to the outskirts of Denton to deliver a pizza when he got caught with a flat.

"Well, how about that!" he had exclaimed.

Luckily, he remembered noticing a light over at the Frankenstein Place (as he and his friend's called it) and so headed back to see if they had a phone he could use.

The door was answered by some creepy, bald butler.

"You're wet…," he said, pokerfaced.

"Well, yeah, it's kinda raining…," he said a bit sarcastically.

"Riff Raff! Who is it?" called a heavily accented voiced.

"A delivery boy!" he called back, "I think perhaps you'd better come inside…" he tailed off and twitched his lip.

"Uh, thanks," he darted in and shook his wet hair, "Hey, do you guys have a phone I could use, my tire burst."

"How unfortunate…," the butler deadpanned, everything he said sounded unfinished.

"You have to ask the Master for permission to use the phone," a voice answered behind him.

He jumped a bit and turned round to see some red-head in a maid outfit.

"Okay, where is he?" he tried not to eyeball her too much, the bald guy was shooting him laser glares.

"The Master is presently located in the laboratory…," he said.

"Okay…," he stood there uncomfortably as the two servants stared at him.

"Come, we shall take you to him…" the bald guy finally answered.

"Shift it!" the maid called when Eddie continued to stand there, he'd prefer to trek all the way back to Denton.

He was led into a rickety old elevator which protested loudly as it heaved them up to the laboratory.

What kind of castle has a laboratory? Eddie thought, he was right to call it a Frankenstein Place.

"Master! We have a guest!" the maid called as they entered the pink laboratory.

"Well, it looks like he ain't in here, I'm sorry to trouble you, I'll just walk home…," he stopped at a glare from the bald guy.

"He should be in here…," he said thoughtfully and then headed towards some plush purple drapes. He pulled them back to reveal two people on an oversized bed.

"Riff Raff!" a posh voice called.

"Master!" the bald guy answered.

"Riff Raff!" a squeaky voice called.

"Columbia!" the maid answered.

"Magenta!" Columbia replied.

"Riff Raff!"

"Master!"

"Riff Raff!"

"Columbia!"

"Magenta!"

This went on for a bit until Eddie coughed to announce his presence.

All eyes turned to him and she shifted uncomfortably.

"Good evening," the Master donned a Hugh Hefner type robe and made his way towards Eddie, "I am Dr. Frank. N. Furter, how do you do?" he held out a hand which Eddie shook warily.

"I'm Eddie…," he said, a bit unnerved by the man's smudged make-up.

"Well, young Edward, what brings you to my establishment?"

"Uh, my tire burst, do you have a phone I could use?" he said quietly.

Frank tutted, "Well, baby, don't you worry, by the light of day it'll be ok, I'll get you a satanic mechanic." His grin got wider, "But first we must get you out of those wet clothes!"

Suddenly the two servants were set upon him, stripping him of his clothes and dignity, at this point he hadn't bothered to protest.

"Oooh, I see you have tattoos," Frank beamed.

Eddie nodded faintly and allowed himself to be dragged off to a room. Apparently he was now staying the night.

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><p>Mollifying himself with chants of, "Morning will come soon," he tucked the covers of the bed up to his chin and attempted to drift off.<p>

Sleep, however, was not on Frank's agenda.

Eddie was woken up a pair of lips at his ear which trailed down his neck.

"Mmm," he said, semi-conscious.

"Oh, Edward!" a familiar voice breathed and Eddie felt someone climb into bed with him.

"Whoa!" he cried, shocked, "Dr. Frank. N. Furter?"

"Please," he chuckled, "Call me Frankie."

"Gah! What are you doing in here?"

Frank rolled his eyes, this boy sure had a naïve charm, "I'll demonstrate," he said silkily and continued to seduce Eddie.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa there," Eddie shoved him away, "I like girls!" he cried.

Frank grinned, "So do I."

Eddie remembered him and the squeaky voiced girl in the big purple bed, "Well, then go hang out with your girlfriend!"

He chuckled again, "Oh, she's not my girlfriend."

"Wife?" Eddie asked hopefully.

Frank laughed some more, "No, she's my… playmate."

Eddie groaned, "Then go play with her!"

Frank turned up his charm and continued his smooth-talking until Eddie relented.

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><p>From that night on Eddie became Frank's new "playmate", unintentionally incurring the wrath of the squeaky girl.<p>

One morning he was calmly minding his own business, just eating his breakfast when she came stomping in wearing only a pair of ratty old pyjamas.

"You!" she cried, pointing a finger at him, "You jerk! You stole my Frankie! You fat, greasy, pizza-boy, you!" she sobbed.

"Hey, he came on to me," he defended himself, "And I'm not fat… I'm rounded…"

She snorted.

"Well, at least I'm not constantly on helium," he snapped back.

She glared at him, "You stupid hick!"

"Tramp."

"Ape."

"Fan girl."

"Slime ball."

"Freak."

With each insult they had come closer, step by step, until their noses were practically touching. Inevitably, they were soon kissing.

She pushed him away, "Oh, God! I've cheated on Frankie!" she cried.

Eddie couldn't help noticing that her nipple was peeping out of a hole in her pyjamas.

"He's cheated on you," Eddie replied simply.

She shrugged and they resumed.

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><p>And so, Eddie now had a routine. During the day whilst Frank was asleep, he and Columbia would be with each other, at night, Frank would either sleep with him or Columbia, or both. There were some days when Eddie couldn't sit down.<p>

But on Saturday nights, when Frank would stay in pampering himself with facials and chocolates, Eddie and Columbia were allowed to borrow the pick-up truck for a night in town.

Eddie loved those Saturday nights. It was a chance for him to dress up sharp and feel alright. He loved playing rock and roll on the radio. He loved the smell of Columbia's perfume, her baby pink lipstick, the way that she'd whisper that she was his… he was even beginning to lover her, and she him.

Then Frank started acting up. He had sulked for a bit when he had found out about the two of them but had accepted it as long as he still got his fill. But then they had started to fall in love.

Frank decided that he wanted a new playmate, one who wouldn't leave him. And so hatched his plan to start working on a muscle man.

He had been so absorbed in his work that he had basically ignored Eddie and Columbia.

So Eddie was a bit surprised when Frank invited him into the lab, a place he hadn't been in since his first night.

"Come see what's on the slab," Frank had told him.

Morbid curiosity was what made Eddie re-enter the pink laboratory.

What happened next was a bit of a blur. He remembered admiring the nail polish on a statue before a sharp needle stabbed into his neck.

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><p>He had woken up a while later, blood all over him, with a huge headache. It was then that he noticed half a brain in a jar. He was able to join the dots.<p>

He heaved himself up and found a bit of paper, unable too locate a pen, he used some of the plentiful supply of blood to scrawl a crude note to his uncle, he was smart, he'd know what to do.

He panicked a bit, not knowing how he would send it when he noticed a pile of mail nearby. He checked that it was outgoing before slipping his now addressed note in with it. Most of it seemed to be party invitations, destined for Transylvania, but there were a few that were earthbound. Hearing someone come in, he jumped back onto the slab and closed his eyes.

He felt another needle in his neck and when he woke up, he was in the freezer, motorbike and all.

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><p>He was still aware of everything that went on outside, he seemed to have some kind of psychic link with his brain.<p>

He had heard Frank tell a distraught Columbia that he had no further need of Eddie and that when offered a chance of freedom, he had hopped onto his motorbike without looking back.

He so badly wanted to comfort her as she wailed squeakily and almost melted the ice with his rage at Frank "comforting" her.

His brain was soon placed in some pretty boy who was to be Frank's creation. He found his control over the brain diminished, but he was able to transmit the odd thought to Rocky and vice versa.

When Rocky was zapped to life, Eddie had filled him with enough apprehension of Frank that his first instinct was to run away, frightened. Not that Frank's lustful advances didn't help.

During the commotion, Eddie had Rocky secretly activate the de-frosting device. Eddie tuned out as Frank gushed over Rocky and made him exercise (Eddie's most despised activity), and instead focused on the melting ice until he was able to hit the switch to open the freezer door.

It just about nearly flattened Frank, and as Eddie burst out dramatically, Columbia shrieked wildly and ran up to him.

Deciding to show impress her and show her much she meant to him, he sang her a song he'd been working on (everyone else seemed to be singing that night).

Unfortunately, the reunion was cut short by a jealous Frank who cut Eddie up wih some sort of pick, he didn't pay attention to details.

Columbia wailed as Eddie was hacked into oblivion. He had no choice but to ask Rocky to make some room.

Eddie tried to stop Rocky from allowing Frank to "play" with him, but the creature chose to obey its Master instead.

Eddie blacked out what was happening and instead began plotting some way to escape. He couldn't go back to his old body, it was on the menu for tonight, but maybe he could learn to fully control Rocky…

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><p>Eventually Frank went off to seduce the two innocents who had arrived earlier, in a way reminiscent of Eddie's own arrival. Rocky promptly fell asleep.<p>

"C'mon! Wake up!" Eddie mentally shook him.

To his surprise Rocky jolted up in fright.

He heard a hiss and saw Riff Raff brandishing a candelabrum at the poor creature. As hot wax hit him, Rocky went berserk and broke his chains, fleeing the laughing Riff Raff and Magenta.

"It's alright, you're gonna be fine, it's just a little burn," Eddie placated the creature.

They were on the grounds, almost free when the dogs were set on them.

"Aw, crap!" Eddie sighed as Rocky fled back to the lab.

He jumped into his birth tank and cowered under the red sheet.

"You big baby!" Eddie scolded, "You could've taken them."

Suddenly the sheet was thrown back and the girl; Janet stood over them.

She began ripping her skirt and tending to Rocky's wounds.

"Please?" it was Rocky's first thought/word.

Eddie sighed, "If you must!" he blacked out again as Rocky stroked her hand, which inevitably led to more singing.

He realised that he could completely leave the body, as some kind of spirit or something and so went searching for Columbia.

He found her and Magenta giggling and watching Janet and Rocky on one of the various monitors.

He squeezed into Magenta's body as she and Columbia began fooling around, and enjoyed himself for the first time in a while.

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><p>Eventually he went to check on Rocky only to find his uncle! He had gotten the note! He hovered above the scene, pondering who to possess.<p>

Then Rocky and Janet were discovered.

Eddie watched as they began calling each other's names, again reminding him of his first fateful night. Luckily, Magenta interrupted with her gong.

Eddie really had no desire to see himself being devoured but, having little choice, he floated into the dining room.

Besides, he wanted to see what his uncle would do.

When Columbia began wailing at Frank's announcement, Eddie had to choose between her and his uncle.

His uncle settled the matter by bad mouthing him through song, he followed Columbia up to her bedroom where her singing was more complimentary.

He stroked her hair as she collapsed onto a chair and sobbed, not that she noticed, but it comforted him a bit.

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><p>Soon Magenta appeared, telling Columbia that she'd miss the show. She sniffed and wiped her nose on the sleeve of her pyjamas before following Magenta with an invisible Eddie behind her.<p>

He took his time, nostalgic for all the good times he'd had in the castle before catching up with everyone.

He got there in time to see Magenta (under Frank's orders) turnhe couple and his uncle into statues. Naked statues. He looked around, much like the statues that decorated the laboratory…

He was shocked out of his thoughts by Columbia's high pitched argument with Frank. Eddie winced when she was turned into a statue.

He watched the argument between Frank and Magenta. He heard Frank announce his plans for a floor show. He took in the conspiratorial looks Riff Raff and Magenta gave each other as they banged elbows over the statue of his uncle.

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><p>Eddie watched the floor show with disgust. He hated what Frank had done to his Columbia. What he'd done to the naïve Rocky. To the helpless couple. To his stuffy old uncle. The same stuffy old uncle who was cavorting about in fishnets and high heels.<p>

He almost cried with relief when Riff Raff and Magenta burst in with a laser.

Relief that soon turned to anguish when his lovely Columbia was shot.

He cried out and floated over to her.

He threw his ghost form over her and found himself sinking into her.

"Eddie?" he heard her call faintly.

"Columbia!" he cried and searched for her. He found her fading spirit, crouched into a small corner.

"Eddie! You're alive!" she whooped.

"Er, not exactly…"

"Oh no," she wailed and began crying, "I don't wanna die, Eddie!"

"Don't worry," he said, a plan formulating, "You won't…"

"What do you mean?" she said and then gasped as his spirit passionately kissed hers. She soon felt his ghost melt into hers. She understood what he was doing.

"No Eddie!" she cried but it was too late. He had given up his spirit and merged into hers so she was strong enough to live.

She woke up with a gasp. Startling Magenta who was leaning over her.

"Columbia?" she asked, gasping.

And Columbia grabbed Magenta and sobbed onto her shoulder.

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><p><strong>AN: Not the best thing I've ever written, I really should be revising for my big nasty ole exams, but I really can't be bothered... <strong>

**Well, I really just wanted to do a short oneshot of Eddie in the freezer but I got a bit... carried away, hehe :p I mean, Eddie's the best thing ever, he's played by Meatloaf for Frank's sake! Sorry for grammatical errors etc but my brain's on coma mode and I just wanted to kill some time and procastinate a bit. I tried to make it as American as I could, but I know I've probably slipped up somewhere... **


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